Well then, that's depressing

Is it just me,,,?

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 03:46:00 GMT

...or are those ads for drugs such as Abilify (what a horrible name) hilarious as hell? Every time one of those comes on I want to laugh my ass off, and the best thing is that my parents would laugh right along with me from the humor of it.

They're funny as hell to me...

Writer's Block: Perfect Sandwich

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 19:59:44 GMT

Describe your perfect sandwich, layer by layer.

View 502 Answers

I'll take this one from the bottom.

A layer of sourdough bread (really good sourdough, mind you) with mustard, then three or four slices of turkey, two slices of provelone cheese, three pieces of bacon, several dill pickle slices, some tomato, some lettuce, some black olives, and another slice of sourdough.

*drools*

Writer's Block: Friends and acquaintences

Thu, 22 May 2008 00:13:44 GMT

What differentiates a friend from an acquaintance? When does one become the other?

View 501 Answers

A friend is someone that I am absolutely sure thinks of me as a friend as well. An acquaintance is just someone I know. The difference? It's all in whether I think that the person thinks of me as a friend.

Writer's Block: Nicknames

Thu, 22 May 2008 00:10:27 GMT

What's your nickname, and how did you get it?

View 501 Answers

My sister calls me Elli, and yes, it's supposed to be spelled that way. I use that name on a forum I go on, and it was derived from my name on another forum that I go on sometimes.

Writer's Block: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 03:24:33 GMT

What are your neighbors like?

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One set of neighbors are rednecks. One set is a family full of Republicans. And the other... well, I don't know most of them, but I know at least one of them's a cool person.

Disappearing...

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 01:13:00 GMT

I wish I could disappear. I don't want to do this anymore. No matter how much things change, I won't be able to rise to the challenge of changing with it... It's not even worth trying...

No matter how much things change, I'll always be the same old me. It isn't worth it.

Day 15

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 20:12:52 GMT

I feel so weird... I guess it's boredom.

Or is this "normal?"

Back, for at least a little while

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:49:12 GMT

I'm not sure how long I'll be back. It could be a month. It could be a week. It could be a year. I really don't know.

All I know is that I want to write some stuff... for some strange reason.

Forgive me if I whine. I will try as hard as possible not to whine. Sometimes it doesn't work.

I'll probably be ranting a lot, so sorry in advance.

Writer's Block: What? Everyone Doesn't Like Me?

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:23:04 GMT

Why do you think it is some people don't get along with you?

View 500 Answers

Oh, let's see... I've got a bad temper, I'm too crazy for most to fathom... mood swings from hell, oftentimes brutally honest... Overly liberal for some, maybe...

There are lots of reasons.

Writer's Block: Sharing is Caring

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:06:10 GMT

What do you most hate sharing with other people?

View 500 Answers

My food, definitely.

Well, I don't like sharing my secrets either, unless the person I'm sharing them with is someone I really trust.

Writer's Block: My Secret Identity

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:04:00 GMT

Describe your different personas.

View 500 Answers

I've got several. One of them is this really ridiculous jester type, but I look like an incredible idiot. That's my hyper persona, in essence. I use it at school for some reason...

When talking to someone one on one I'll be super serious and kinda quiet. I guess it's trying to sound as smart as possible even though the words are coming out all jumbled.

My third kicks in every so often... super-depressive, super quiet. Not a good sign, as a general rule.

Writer's Block: Spilling Secrets

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 04:54:42 GMT

What secret (your or someone else's) do you wish you'd done a better job of keeping?

View 500 Answers

I honestly am really good at keeping secrets... at least, I can keep other people's secrets. Certain secrets feel like lies if I don't tell them, so...

Anyway, most of the important ones aren't out yet.

Isolation...

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 20:28:37 GMT

I don't think I've felt worse and more hopeless in my entire life than I've been feeling lately. Of course, it's the same thing, all over again.

I haven't been feeling connected to anyone. I haven't been connected to begin with though...

I think I'm going to stop posting here... it's no use, just whining about things...

Ummmm

Tue, 26 Feb 2008 00:56:56 GMT

I'm not looking forward to the future. At all.

Either I play a little game of Russian Roulette with one of the crappy drugs I could take for my bipolar issues, or I get some obvious stuff (weight gain, acne, hand tremors, possible headaches) from the other crappy drug I've been offered.

If I take the one with the obvious stuff, I'll possibly be really sick. Of course, the same thing might happen with the other.

I am so not looking forward to tomorrow. I wish I could be wiped off the earth.

Sigh

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 20:51:07 GMT

Another wasted day... almost four and yet I haven't done a single useful thing with my day... this sucks. A lot.

After the bomb...

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 03:42:53 GMT

Ten hours after the doctor dropped the bomb... we haven't said a word about it.

Sorta like pretending that there's no elephant in a room if there is a huge elephant there.

Granted, I don't know if my mom knows. It's still sucks. We're supposed to talk about options, me and my parents.

Here's the REALLY awkward thing: my sister is clueless. Here's the thing: she's younger. How the hell do you tell your little sister that you may gain weight, you may get a ton more acne, and, if you're taking the right pills and you're unlucky, you may end up with a really nasty rash that could kill you? Yeah, exactly.

Does she even need to know?

I want to put my fist through a wall. I want to scream, cry, do anything. I want to let it go. I want to forget. I want to forget there was anything that was ever wrong. I want to forget that today even happened. I want to forget about all the things I've done wrong. I want to forget that I'm not perfect.

I just want to forget, and yet I can't afford to forget about it. What the hell is up with that?

Trying to stay in control...

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:06:07 GMT

I'm prepared to lose it. Oh my god oh my god. I'm having the day from hell...

First, the jazz band didn't even play my song during the community meeting! ASSHOLES!!!!!! The guy who was in control (a sophomore) seems to think I'm not as good at the piano as the other pianist, just because the other guy's his friend and because I'm a freshman and because I'm a girl!

Second, I nearly knocked them out.

Third, I had to sit through a presentation on the RealCare Baby! Woohoo, a whining, screaming baby sim.

Fourth, I ended up seeing this psychiatrist today. Part one of this bad part of my day: apparently, she got the really high priority cases into her office today. In other words, I'm sick.

Part two, and what's really forcing me into an "oh my god oh my god" mode: Woohoo, psychiatric diagnosis #1! I'm bipolar! Woohoo (sarcasm intended)!

Make of this what you will.

Writer's Block: Coffee Or Tea?

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:27:01 GMT

What method do you use to prepare your coffee or tea?

View 501 Answers

For coffee: Two creamers, then two sugar packets (in that order) per eight ounces of coffee.

For tea: A lot of honey. Occasionally with milk, such as chai tea.

So you're trying to get in again? Huh? Huh?

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:01:22 GMT

Dear Imogen and Kyle

HOW DARE YOU TRY AND MANIPULATE ME? I am over you, so get out of my life. I never want to see either of you in my life again. You hear? There's a reason I de-friended you!

Do you want to know why?

You manipulated me. You kicked me when I was down. You made it so I had nowhere to turn. You made it so that I didn't want to return to a place that I had once loved. You bullied me. You left me out and talked about me behind my back. You left my best friend out in the cold. You denied every minute of it. And, possibly the most disturbing thing of all, you're trying to hurt me again.

I never did a thing to deserve this.

I won't let you hurt me ever again. I won't lose control to you again. This is my life, and I don't want you in it. So don't bother trying to get to me again. You two can talk about me as much as you want. You can say all the bad things about me that you want to. You can call me stupid, crazy, babyish, anything. I don't care anymore, because you're not my friends, and you never were.

These are the last words I'm wasting on you.

Holly

P.S. To Imogen: I bet your friend Shannon hates you; you're the least supportive person I've ever met. Besides, you and Lauren (from Pico cabin, also known as your best friend) were ragging on her every time you talked.

To Kyle: YOU SUCK!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:51:54 GMT

WQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm happyhappyhappy! I can't even type! No school today!!

Hyper still!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 02:06:08 GMT

HYPERHYPERHYPERSTILL.

My thoughts make no sense. For some reason a certain line of "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall (I was playing DDR to that song earlier, but that's not a great explanation) is playing in my head (something about "everything around her is a silver pool of light") and I can't help but think of myself. I'm totally totally hyper, and I don't care. I'm HAAAAAAAAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAAAAAAAAH!

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 04:15:49 GMT

I'm still HYPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I wanna play piano but it's 11:15 at night and I'll wake someone up... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I wanna play piano!!!!!!!! *whines*

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHOIEWNRHPJQOWNIFPONQERIOWH FIOPDSO WEIAXCMIQWOXM(UIEWYI

HYPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....

I like cookies.

:)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 22:18:51 GMT

HAPPY OUT OF MY MIND!!!!!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HYPERHYPERHYPERYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oahriwjaoifeijphoifnasdkclhqwoanvlpkjrewpj YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Writer's Block: My Own Creation

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 02:36:26 GMT

If you could create anything artistic, what would it be?

View 237 Answers

I'd like to actually draw something decent... most of my drawings SUCK! Although it would be nice to make something nice with clay...

.....

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 20:21:26 GMT

Everything is making me nauseous right now. I feel like I'm going to explode. Someone kill me. I can't take this life any longer.

I know I shouldn't, I know it's not a way out that's acceptable, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it. Nothing does.

Well then, that's depressing

Is it just me,,,?

Writer's Block: Perfect Sandwich

Writer's Block: Friends and acquaintences

Writer's Block: Nicknames

Writer's Block: Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Disappearing...

Day 15

Back, for at least a little while

Writer's Block: What? Everyone Doesn't Like Me?

Writer's Block: Sharing is Caring

Writer's Block: My Secret Identity

Writer's Block: Spilling Secrets

Isolation...

Ummmm

*Sigh*

After the bomb...

Trying to stay in control...

Writer's Block: Coffee Or Tea?

So you're trying to get in again? Huh? Huh?

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

GAAAAAAAAH!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Writer's Block: My Own Creation

.....

Sigh